Friday, June 23, 2017

titik noktah



.
.
I have loved you for many years
Maybe I am just not enough
You've made me realise my deepest fear
By lying and tearing us up

[Chorus]
You say I'm crazy
Cause you don't think I know what you've done
.
.
(Sam Smith - I'm Not The Only One)


asal lagu lagu sekarang banyak kena batang hidung sendiri? 
ok.
haha T_T


Hi Stranger,
should I call you as my friend?
my enemy?
or
a stalker?
You know me?
my name?
Do you think you know me well?
Do you think you know my story?
Whats make you feel like that? based on a story?
No bro, no.
Am I going to say a word about this?
Yes.
I promised myself to defend me against 'the world'
I already type the full story from A-Z, the pictures, screenshot etc, the 7 years
I'm ready to let people read my story cz I never tell the whole story to people when they ask
I call it as a self defense
I want people to know whats really happen
I'm blinded and drowning in my anger, my revenge, my frustration, my fear, my love bla bla bla..
yes I am.
until a friend of mine said to me
" dia malukan kau skrg ni je
kt SANA nnt? "
kat sana nanti semua orang nampak aib masing-masing
.
.
.
aku macam terjaga dari mimpi.
Ya Allah.
again.
6 bulan berjuang.
ok.
cukup.
there is no karma term in Islam
hanya takdir Allah.
ini takdir aku,
aku tak minta, tak doakan buruk-buruk pun
cukuplah stop burukkan aku dan pergilah...
sama sama ada salah kan? jadi? sudah sudah lah jangan cari alasan lagi.
aku mengaku,
aku mmg kuat marah kuat jeles suka kawal keadaan etc segala yang dinyatakan.
but come on?
perempuan mana tak pernah jeles?
atau salah faham?
haha selama 7 tahun tu memang aku behave macam tu
kenapa tak putus dari awal ja?
kenapa siap hold tak nak putus bila aku minta putus dulu dulu
dan tetiba sekarang jadi isu besar
andai betul betul la aku control, aku tak rasa ini ending hubungan ni
rasanya dah lama dah bernikah kahwin
siapa yang nak gagal dalam hubungan kan?
setia dekat dia sorang
pegang janji dan harapan yang diberi, bukan diminta tau, diberi.
anda boleh fikir dan tengok sendiri
yang dah ada bf dok kacau bf org,
yang single pun dok tunggu bf org,
macam mana tu?
aku tak doakan cuma harap anda tak terkena balik macam tu



Bisik hatiku lepaskan dirinya
Sungguh aku tak bisa
Biarlah ku sendiri
Tanpa kasih di hati.

Aku tak mampu pertahankan lagi
Cinta yang menyakiti
Biarlah aku pergi
Tiada hampa di hati.

(Shahir - Pendam)


Its take two to tango..
ya I wont fight for us anymore.
I'm just too tired.
say what you guys want to say, I wont say a word anymore unless I have to
and now I leave all this things to Allah.
I already have the answers.
Its take time to redha.
until I stop asking why and why.
alhamdulillah
smile and stay strong syaq~  



After you said your goodbye
One day, I will look back to you. 
You will either be the best thing that ever happened to me 
or the worst mistake I ever made. 
But what I know for now is this: 
your goodbye hurts more than death, 
but I owe it to myself to not hold on to what let go of me.
So, today, my love,

I say my goodbye to you, too.

I stayed for so long, not because I was weak 
but because I believed in the good person in you.
I left, not because you stopped wanting me,
but because I no longer loved myself by loving you. - Najwa Zebian


kaede, terima kasih untuk 6 tahun 10 bulan 3 minggu dan 6 hari.



last update: 6/7/2017

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